The Paid Leave Podcast

One Family's Journey of Hispanic Heritage, Mental Health, and Healing.

• The Connecticut Paid Leave Authority

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It this episode of The Paid Leave Podcast, we take a look at Hispanic Heritage Month, which runs from September 15th through October 15th. During this month it is a celebration of the culture and diversity of the Hispanic population, but it also focuses on mental health and the challenges that Hispanics face. 

Evelyn Alejandro joins me to talk about Hispanic Heritage Month, and her parents struggles with mental health. Evelyn was the focus of an article in Mental Health Connecticut's Let's FACE IT Campaign. In the article she discusses her parents' mental health conditions, and how it affected her as a young girl. She talks about losing her mother tragically in a car crash, and how her trauma led to her being told she may be suffering from PTSD. Evelyn discusses the shame and stigma of mental health and says that CT Paid Leave is a resource that can help many Hispanics, who may not know about the program. 


To get in touch with Evelyn Please go to her website at: Agape Designs - Holistic Marketing Agency 

Contact Evelyn at her email address: agapedesigns860@gmail.com

Or Here at the Central Connecticut Chamber of Commerce at their PYVOT program: PYVOT - Central Connecticut Chambers of Commerce


For more information or to apply for benefits please go to: ctpaidleave.org

https://ctpaidleave.org/s/?language=en_US



https://www.facebook.com/CTPaidLeave



https://www.instagram.com/ctpaidleave/



https://twitter.com/CTPaidLeave



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Nancy Barrow:

Hello Connecticut, and welcome toThe Paid Leave Podcast. The title basically says it all. I'm Nancy Barrow, and I will be delving into this new state program and how it can help you and your family. This podcast will give you information you should know about Connecticut Paid Leave and maybe just a little bit more. Connecticut Paid Leave brings peace of mind to your home, family and workplace. Welcome to The Paid Leave Podcast. It is Hispanic Heritage Month from September 15 through October 15, and during this month, it's time to celebrate the culture and diversity of the Hispanic population and also focus on health equity and mental health and the challenges that Hispanics face. Joining me to talk about this is Evelyn Alejandro. She has a lived experience about mental health in her own family. She is the founder of Agape Designs LLC, a Connecticut based marketing agency offering social media management, website design and advertising strategy for entrepreneurs and nonprofits. And she's also the Executive Director of the Professional Young Visionaries of Tomorrow known as PYVOT. It's a networking group for professionals age 21 to 40. It's based out of the Central Connecticut Chambers of Commerce. PYVOT brings together emerging leaders from across the state for professional development, collaboration and community impact. And welcome to The Paid Leave podcast Evelyn, great to have you here.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Thank you so much for having me. Nancy, it's a pleasure being here.

Nancy Barrow:

You're so young,and you've done so much already. Your Executive Director, that's amazing!

Evelyn Alejandro:

Thank you so much. It's an honor to be in

Nancy Barrow:

Since it's Hispanic Heritage Month, can you that role. tell me about your Hispanic background and your culture and and why it's so important to you Evelyn?

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yes, so I am Puerto Rican and Irish. My dad is the Puerto Rican side, and my mom was Irish, but many people that knew her would say she's also Puerto Rican at heart. And you asked me to tell you more about Hispanic culture. So Hispanic people are very resilient people. We no matter the circumstances, we find joy in our lives, because I think

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, the food is always good! we're just so grateful. We view life as a blessing. And in our culture, it's very important to dance and spend time with your family. Eat good food.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yes, cooking is definitely important in our Yeah, also another foundation for Puerto Rican culture is we work very hard in whatever we're doing professionally. So I got a really strong work ethic from both of my parents. My mom would work 14 hour days. She was a CNA, and she took care of people, and she went back to school and became an LPN. And I got to see growing up kind of what it's like to grow old and deal with really bad medical issues. And then also see my mom in that role and how it shaped what she believed, because you get a lot of wisdom through that field. And then also my father, he worked in construction. So those are also very long days, culture as well. building houses, building pools. And he really enjoyed that as And what about your upbringing, and how did that shape you, well. They both really loved their work, and they were passionate about it. And I think that transfers over into my work personally and professionally? life, because I really work hard at what I do, but I also love doing it

Nancy Barrow:

Well. I think having that, that base right, like it really does set you up for success. Yeah, right. Tell me about the importance of cultural visibility in leadership and businesses, because I think that's really important.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yeah. I think that has been more of a topic in recent years, and more people are talking about it and asking for it, but I do think that it's not fully in effect in leadership. A lot of the rooms that I go into, I'm the youngest, and there's very few people of color on leadership boards, and especially in legislation as well. So definitely want more people that are Hispanic and other cultures to be in leadership roles, to showcase the actual population of Connecticut and other communities.

Nancy Barrow:

Well, let's talk about mental health and and what really brought us together. Because it was your own experience. In an article for Mental Health Connecticut, and their, Let's FACE IT, campaign. And I read the article and thought to myself, this girl has such an incredible story and an important story that really needed to be told. And that's when I got in touch with you, and I wanted to share your story in hopes that maybe you reach like one person who may decide to get some help because of it. And. And here we are now. So why don't you tell me about your mom and dad and their struggles with mental health, and how you dealt with it as a family and and did you feel like you had to be a caregiver at a really young age?

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yes. So regarding the article for Mental Health Connecticut, I talked about my parents experience with mental conditions. So my father was schizophrenic and my mother had bipolar disorder. And growing up, they didn't really talk about it. They hid it very well from a lot of people. And I think that there's a lot of connotations that if you have a mental health condition, you're not smart, or you're not good enough, which is not true. They were very smart in their fields and and I think that they just were afraid of the judgment. So later on, after they had passed, well, I knew my dad was schizophrenic, but my mom, I didn't know she was diagnosed until after she passed away, because she never talked about it. And my grandmother actually told me that she was diagnosed as a kid and had been on a treatment plan, and then she refused, and then she never told anybody. But I always had a hint that she was I would say it when, whenever we got into argument. So it was just like confirmation for me that my experience with her mental condition was real.

Nancy Barrow:

That's so interesting. So she wouldn't talk about it, but you kind of recognized that as a kid.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yes, I was very close with my mom. She mostly raised me as a single mom with my sister. And I think when you mentioned feeling like you have to be an adult. I did feel that way as a kid, because I had to help with my sister. My mom's working long shifts, and I think that I was definitely mad about it and resentful about it. And now, in hindsight, I can see how much my mom was doing to take care of us, and that she needed that, and I wish I understood more when I was a kid, but, you know, I was a kid, I didn't get it.

Nancy Barrow:

There is so much stigma around mental health in the Hispanic community, and you know, specifically, and why do you think that is?

Evelyn Alejandro:

So, I think really, there's stigma and mental health, and no matter your ethnicity or background, I think it's human nature to want to feel strong, pretend like everything's okay when it's not. You don't want to feel like something's wrong with you, or have to admit that. And I think in Hispanic culture specifically, we're taught to be strong all the time so and I think we're a very collective community with our families, and a lot of the time, I think our families know when we're struggling, but I don't think that people do talk about it enough, like, I think it's surface level, like, Oh, I'm stressed about my job or I'm stressed about my relationship, But it's not about their mental health, like it's about their circumstances. Yeah. So I think that definitely has to change, and I think it's okay to ask for help, go to therapy, do a treatment plan, do what's best for you, and that will help the people around you as well.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah. And then at the time, when you were like 14, your mom died in a car accident. Tell me about that situation and how that affected you.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yeah, it was a really tough time. So since she was my primary caregiver, it was like an up ending for me and my sister. Me and my sister have different fathers, so when that had happened, I went with my father, and my sister had a custody battle with multiple people in our family, and then some of her dad's side of the family, and that was really rough too to go through that, because I felt like I didn't have much control over what was happening with my sister, and I missed her and we were separated, and it was also hard for me to see her at the time, because it reminded me so much of my mom, right and what was going on. It was really tragic to lose my mom without being able to say goodbye. When she passed away, the police, like notified us at the door that she was in the hospital, and so we had to drive over to the hospital, which was St Francis, and when we got there, they let us know that she had passed away. And I just remember as immediately when they started their speech in the hallway, and there was like 30 of us waiting for news, I just they were like, unfortunately, and then I just lost it, yeah, I was so upset.

Nancy Barrow:

And you were so young. Was there, was there any kind of resources available to you at that time, like in high school? Did the guidance counselors reach out to you and try to help you through this whole situation, or did you have any tribe to help you?

Evelyn Alejandro:

So I definitely had a tribe. I had lots of aunts that really cared about me and showed me love. And then I moved in with my dad, and at the time, he had relapsed after my mom passed away, so it was very tough time for him, too, and it became very hard, I think, at the high school that I went to when I was with my dad, they didn't really give me the guidance support that I needed, and then I transferred schools because I ended up living with my uncle, and they definitely took a more hands on approach, and that was really helpful, like my guidance counselor really helped me with college applications, and just like meeting with me, and then I also did go to therapy, but I wasn't ready for it yet, so it didn't really work, because I felt like my uncle were forcing me, and I felt like they were I was being punished for my mom passing, but that wasn't what they were trying to do and that.

Nancy Barrow:

But that's your perspective. Yes, that's your perspective. Yeah, yeah,

Evelyn Alejandro:

Exactly. But I do believe in therapy. I think that's important. And then I just, I really relied on friends and family, and I definitely had to deal with not, like, avoiding my feelings, and that's when I really started to heal, when I just, like, let myself feel.

Nancy Barrow:

I think when I in the article that I read, you actually went to college, and then somebody who was in nursing program said, Hey, have you ever heard of PTSD? Like, you might be suffering from PTSD.

Evelyn Alejandro:

I think I never was diagnosed when I form like when I first went to therapy, because I was so closed off and I just didn't take it seriously. But it was really helpful, because she noticed the signs in me, like mood swings or impulsiveness or flashbacks that I would get. So I think it was important for me to know that, and then then I can take action towards it if I know what my diagnosis is.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, right. And from all that trauma, like, that's a lot of trauma that you dealt with having two parents with serious health conditions. You know, both mental health conditions were pretty serious, and when you live with your dad, did you notice the schizophrenia more like, or was he really careful about his medication?

Evelyn Alejandro:

He didn't want to be on medication either. He definitely was very paranoid a lot. And that also made me like hyper vigilent as well. And I think that there was like, I felt like my dad was two people, because he was also, in one aspect, a great dad that was a great conversationalist, that could read his kids like a book, and he loved dancing, he loved life. And then the other side of it was him struggling with addiction and him struggling with paranoia, and that really was hard to see as a kid, too.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah. I mean, I think seeing the addiction end of it, there's always those cool comorbidities, like in it together, right? Like, if you have a serious mental health condition, a lot of times like, you will have that addiction issue, and that is a lot for someone to handle again. When you went to college and you got the PTSD, did you start then getting therapy to really help with the PTSD that you were suffering from?

Evelyn Alejandro:

I did go to therapy, but I didn't immediately, but I started researching more about PTSD and how to help myself. Yeah, and then I did go to therapy, and that was helpful. I don't right now, but I would again. I think just knowing was helpful, because I could research it on my own too.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, and find out. Oh, okay, this is what I've been dealing with. I, you know, a lot of times you stuff it down, right, because you don't want to deal with it, but it'll always resurface somewhere and and I think it was so interesting reading the article too, that you said your faith really helped you. How did that help you?

Evelyn Alejandro:

I really started to flourish in my faith when I reached community with faith. So I did some service trips to volunteer with other Christians. And that was really eye opening for me, because I saw people that had been through worse than I did, and I could see them still finding peace with God, and that was really helpful. And also just having a good community around you that has the same mindset was really helpful for me as well, but I think my relationship with God, one on one was the best thing for me, because I was I've always felt like no one understood how I felt as a kid. So with God, I feel like he knows everything, and it lets me let go of the control of I need to control what's happening in my life or what happened. Right, and it lets me accept it and move on and keep going, and to also find gratitude in everything.

Nancy Barrow:

One of the things I love about Connecticut Paid Leave and working there is we give up to 12 weeks of income replacement for mental health if your health care provider deems it a serious health condition, or you are continuing treatment, and you must take time away from work to get treatment like if you're getting if you're getting therapy. It also covers caregiver leave, so you can take care of someone with a really serious health condition, like maybe your parents with mental health issues, which may be a chronic health condition. All these things are so important and really good resources. How important do you feel programs like Connecticut Paid Leave are to the Hispanic community at large and helping them with, you know, what is something that they don't really like to talk about?

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yeah, I think that that it's a great program to have for the community. I think more of them need to understand what it is and what it can do for them. I don't think many people know that they can take leave for mental health, or that they can take leave for caregiving. I think a lot of people are caregivers in the Hispanic community, so that would be super helpful. When my dad passed away, I was like so ready to get back to work, because I need to do something with my hands and keep moving.

Nancy Barrow:

So when did your dad pass away?

Evelyn Alejandro:

He passed away in 2023.

Nancy Barrow:

And when you know, when you go through something like losing a parent, you know there is that grief issue, but there's also, you know, you may need to take time away from work so you can get some mental health for yourself. And sometimes it doesn't crop up right away, like PTSD doesn't crop up right away. So the fact that, you know, you could use this if you needed to go have, you know, therapy once a week, you can take that time and get income replacement for the time that you need to do that, which I think is wonderful that that it's available to people.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yeah, that's awesome.

Nancy Barrow:

Do you think things have changed at all with the mental health stigma in the Hispanic community since your parents?

Evelyn Alejandro:

I think overall, as people, we definitely have talked about mental health more, and a lot of the times it is the surface level of self care. And just like reaching out to someone when you need help, which is also a great point, but I think we definitely still need to have deeper conversations when you're with your grandparents or your or your parents like I think that sometimes they hide their past from their kids because they might be embarrassed or it might be hard for them to talk about it, but I think the history of their lives is so important to teach the next generation, and it will help them learn from that as well. So I think if more families had real conversation about their life experience, more people would not feel alone, and they would understand how widespread mental health is in their families.

Nancy Barrow:

When did you get involved with Mental Health Connecticut and and are they a good resource for people?

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yes, Mental Health Connecticut, I got involved with them about a year ago. I saw them at a Community Wellness Fair, and they do a lot of great programs throughout the state. So they provide an art program called The Art of Well Being. So they have free art classes, playing instruments, painting, drawing, crafting. They did paper cranes workshop. They just did a florist workshop where they teach you how to put together flowers. Amazing. Yeah. So they have a lot of great programming, and they have a lot of residential services where, if someone just has left the hospital, the mental health hospital, they can go and have rehabilitation there, with therapy and the art programs and being around other people and socializing. So that's really great. And they also have a lot of resources on their website to find therapy and to find help. So if you go to M, H, C, O, N, N.org, right on the top right hand corner, they have a Find Help section, explore resources, and they do a lot for the people in Connecticut. They also have a Deaf and Hard of Hearing Service that they work with people that are deaf and hard of hearing, who have a mental health condition, and they have a social group for them so they can go out and do things as a group. They also have a couple other centers. They have one in Waterbury, the Independence Center, where they also provide free meals, and they do more art activities there as well.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, I think it's such a great resource. And, you know, maybe if those resources were available for your parents, that would have been really important for them and and a good, a good tool for them to use.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Yeah, and they also do a lot of education, so I think that would have been helpful for them as well, just teaching people about mental health and what like coping mechanisms, and then they also do a lot of advocacy work in legislation to make sure that mental health conditions are treated the same way in insurance as physical conditions.

Nancy Barrow:

What would you like to see happen during Hispanic Heritage Month, which is September 15 through October 15.

Evelyn Alejandro:

I think definitely want to learn more history. I think a lot of people growing up didn't get taught about Hispanic culture or history. So I always try to find new articles or new resources to teach me about Hispanic culture, and then also finding joy and finding people getting together to dance and celebrate our culture.

Nancy Barrow:

What message would you like, you know, listeners of this podcast, to walk away with? I think that one of your messages of hope is, is really important.

Evelyn Alejandro:

I would say there's a lot of resources that Connecticut Paid Leave offers that many people might not know. So it's great getting together with you and learning more about it, and they can find more resources on your website too.

Nancy Barrow:

Well, I want to thank my guest, Evelyn Alejandro, an entrepreneur and business woman and a person speaking up for mental health and self care. I really think this has been really important, and thank you for telling a really important story today. And thank you so much for being on The Paid Leave Podcast.

Evelyn Alejandro:

Thank you so much for having me here and inviting me to chat with you today.

Nancy Barrow:

Well, you're keeping it the memory of your parents alive, which I think is so super important for you and and I hope for continued healing for you. And you know you can always count on Connecticut Paid Leave to help if, if you need us there. Thank you so much. Nancy. For more information or to apply for benefits, please go to ctpaidleave.org. This has been another edition of The Paid Leave Podcast. Please like and subscribe so you'll be notified about new podcasts that become available. Connecticut Paid Leave is a public act with a personal purpose. I'm Nancy Barrow, and thanks for listening.

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