The Paid Leave Podcast

Junior United States Senator Chris Murphy Talks About Loneliness, Family and Mental Health.

• The Connecticut Paid Leave Authority • Season 3 • Episode 22

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Chris Murphy is the junior United States Senator for Connecticut and has dedicated his career to public service as an advocate for Connecticut families. In the Senate, he is a strong voice for mental health care access, commonsense gun safety laws, and a forward-looking foreign policy.  As a member of the Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee, he fights for policies to support workers and their families, like making childcare more affordable, paid leave, and raising the minimum wage.

 Senator Murphy talked about the epidemic of loneliness and social isolation, and social connection, and how the CT Paid Leave program can help.
 
To contact Junior United States Senator Chris Murphy, go to: Contact Chris | Senator Chris Murphy (senate.gov)

For information about his platform of loneliness: ‘I care about it’: Sen. Chris Murphy’s battle against loneliness (senate.gov)

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Nancy Barrow:

Hello, Connecticut and welco me to The Paid Leave Podcast. The title basically says it all. I'm Nancy Barrow and I will be delving into this new state program and how it can help you and your family. This podcast will give you information you should know about Connecticut Paid Leave, and maybe just a little bit more. Connecticut Paid Leave brings peace of mind to your home, family and workplace. Welcome to The Paid Leave Podcast. Today I have the pleasure and honor of speaking to Chris Murphy who is the junior United States Senator from Connecticut, and has dedicated his career to public service as an advocate for Connecticut families and in the Senate. He's a strong voice for mental health care access, common sense gun safety laws and forward looking foreign policy. And as a member of the Health Education, Labor and Pensions Committee, he fights for policies to support workers and their families like making childcare more affordable paid leave, and raising the minimum wage. We'll talk about the epidemic of loneliness and social isolation, and social connection and how the Connecticut paid leave program can help. Thanks for being here. And welcome to The Paid Leave Podcast Senator Murphy.

Senator Chris Murphy:

Yeah, thanks for having me.

Nancy Barrow:

Can you tell me why loneliness and isolation and social connection topics are so important to you, Senator?

Senator Chris Murphy:

Well, great to be with you. And thanks for the question. It's a really important one. You know, in our founding document, the Declaration of Independence, it states very clearly that every human being and every American has a right to pursue life, liberty and happiness. That doesn't mean that government is supposed to deliver you the last mile of happiness, right, your road to purpose and fulfillment and meaning that that journey has to largely be yours. But government, you know, does have a responsibility to lay down the rules of society, that norms that we live under to give you a shot and happiness. That's, that's what our founding fathers charged us to do. And so I really think that we need to be having a conversation, you're not just about how many people have jobs, not just about how much money people are making, not just about what test scores our kids are getting. But whether we are feeling content and fulfilled and happy as Americans and whether government is really doing what is necessary in order for us to lead fulfilled lives. What we know is that there is more unhappiness out there in America than any time in recent history. That doesn't mean there aren't a lot of people who are out there who are living great lives who are happy or connected. But self reported rates of unhappiness are rising, self reported rates of loneliness are increasing. And we feel it in the rising numbers of suicides, violence, addiction, the deaths of despair, there's all sorts of evidence around us to confirm that folks are feeling more disconnected than ever before. So if you really care about the pursuit of happiness, you have to care about loneliness, because happiness data tells us that well job and income is important, what really matters, what really makes a fulfilled life, the happy life, is relationships is a sense of connection to your community, belonging, and less people belong to their field they belong than ever before, government's got to have a conversation about that. So that's why I care about, about this epidemic of loneliness and aloneness in America, because I think my job is to help people on a route to fulfillment and happiness. And I don't think governments do a really good job of having that conversation right now.

Nancy Barrow:

It's really interesting that as a politician, you're talking about this feel good, emotional connection with people. How has Washington responded to your comments about loneliness and social isolation?

Senator Chris Murphy:

Mixed reviews to be honest, reviews your right to, to some people, you know, the big, big gobble this conversation of course, government should be in the happiness business, right? When I wrote my first sort of essay on this topic called the politics of loneliness, I got such tremendous feedback from people in Connecticut who said yes, this is what I'm talking about. My kids are withdrawing from society, my parents are alone. I'm so glad somebody in public life is talking about loneliness. But then there's the flip side of it. As you mentioned, some people say, well, this doesn't sound like a legitimate topic for government. One of the articles about my early work, had the headline Chris Murphy wants to help you find friends. Right? And that doesn't actually sound like a legitimate function of government to help people find friends. So I get mixed reviews. But it is largely a political I have Republicans who work with me On this, I have Democrats who don't. I think that there is a growing recognition that this is a really legitimate topic to talk about. But I will be honest with you, yeah, of course, there's some resistance.

Nancy Barrow:

Well, health care is a huge topic across our country. And you know, a lot of Americans are facing economic hardships because of their health. Since we began giving benefits Connecticut paid leave in January of 2022, we've helped over 109,000 workers in Connecticut, who've applied to Connecticut paid leave for benefits. And we've paid out more than $719 million to those workers, whether it's pregnancy and bonding leave or taking care of their own serious health condition, or if they're taking care of aging parents, as a caregiver, how important is this for Connecticut workers to know that this program is available to them, and can help them when they're facing a serious health crisis?

Senator Chris Murphy:

There's a very easy connection between paid leave and aloneness. So because as you mentioned, many people are using this to take care of a loved one. Right? You feel disconnected from your family, if during a time of need, you can't be there for them, or you can't be there for your child. And so as we're trying to build more connected families, you've got to give the ability of family members to respond when they have a family member, whether they have a child who needs who needs help or needs a parent home. But I think it's bigger and broader than that. I went down to rural North Carolina, about a year ago, to convene a conversation with folks there about, you know, the sort of spiritual state of rural America Appalachian. And what they talked about mostly was abandoned, they felt like they had been abandoned by sort of the business community by government. And, you know, when people are going through a really difficult health episode, and they have no ability to take care of themselves, well, continuing to make any kind of income, there's a real sense of abandon the idea that you, my community should have rules. So that if I get hurt, or I get sick, through no fault of my own, somebody's gonna take care of me, like somebody's going to take care of me. And, you know, that can be your family, that could be your community. But, you know, our government is just all of us making collective decisions together. And so when the government collectively decides that we're going to give you an ability to care for a loved one, to take some time off, to care for yourself, and make sure that you don't go bankrupt in the process, right? It gives people a sense that they're not abandoned, right, it gives people a sense that, that we're in this together. And so as we try to build a common good society, paid family leave, yeah. And family leave, is really important to give us a sense that, that we're not going to be abandoned.

Nancy Barrow:

Right and I think we do give you financial security, right, we can give income replacement, if you qualify, while you take time away from work to care for your own serious health condition that of a loved one, including mental health, which we've been talking about.

Senator Chris Murphy:

People also want a sense of stability, right? They, they have a job that they appreciate that they enjoy that they love that they don't want to have to leave permanently that they want to be able to come back to after they have this period of time where for instance, they're taking care of other mental health needs. So you know, people want a sense that their community is looking out for them, but they also want a sense of stability and, and paid leave, you know, paid leave does.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, our Governor says that Connecticut is a family friendly state. He's mentioned this numerous times, and their family friendly policies like Connecticut paid leave, our definition of family is inclusive. It's not just related by blood, but it's related by affinity. So if you're sick, and you aren't married, but you live with a partner who's like your spouse, or even if you're single, and you're sick, and you have a best friend who's more like family, they can get up to 12 weeks of income replacement. How important is that expanded family definition?

Senator Chris Murphy:

Yeah, I think it's really important. I think we are, we are headed into a world in which there are going to be all sorts of different kinds of family constructs. There are plenty of people who are going to be married and seek out marriage as an institution, there are going to be plenty of nuclear families. The data certainly tells you that when kids have two parents, they do very well but there's gonna be all sorts of different kinds of families. I think Connecticut is really smart to understand to understand that and and again, either that that sense of connection that people need in order to feel fulfilled feel like they have connection or purpose. It doesn't have to be family. Often it is often that's the blood family, right? Often it is, but really strong friend roots really strong neighborhood groups. They can give you that same sense of community and it's important that Connecticut's leave policy recognizes that.

Nancy Barrow:

I'm not sure if you saw the article with UConn men's basketball coach Dan Hurley talking honestly and very openly about his mental health challenges through college. And even after winning the first NCAA Men's title, he said he had panic attacks and went into an emotional Valley. And he said he thinks by talking about mental health, it will help remove the stigma about mental health and athletics. What are your thoughts about him talking so candidly about mental health?

Senator Chris Murphy:

I'm super proud of him. I mean, obviously, we we we love Coach Hurley for a number of reasons. But he speaks, you know, a truth. That's, that's, that's hard. And when you get to a position of leadership and authority like that, you know, what a gift that he uses in order to talk about his own challenges. Now, obviously, I've got a colleague here in the Senate, Senator John Fetterman, who, you know, face some real significant mental health challenges, some suicidal thoughts, he checked himself into inpatient, to inpatient psychiatric unit, he was there for quite an amount of time, and we have an effective paid leave policy in the United States Senate. It's not, you know, an official one like Connecticut does, but you don't lose your job as United States senator if you go seek help, he has come back stronger than ever, credibly powerful voice in the Senate, very popular back home. And you know why? Because he's talking honestly about something that everybody has experienced with. And so I think it's so important when you have somebody like John Fetterman, somebody like Coach Hurley, that are talking about these things, and then you see how they get rewarded for it. Not shunned, and it gives you confidence that you can have either more private conversations with your friends and family about the way that you are feeling mentally unhealthy. Or if you want to have a much more public conversation, and I'm not gonna I'm not telling you there aren't some people who still have old backwards views. But man, there's more open arms out there than ever before, for folks who are entering into this conversation about mental health and their own mental health.

Nancy Barrow:

And that's a serious health condition. And that's why we cover it in Connecticut paid leave. I'm talking to a father who lived in Florida, and they had their first baby there, and they had no paid leave, and couldn't take any time to bond with their baby. And then they decided that they were going to go to a state that had paid leave, and they moved to Connecticut and have their second baby. And both mother and father took three months off to bond with their baby. I am amazed by that. And there are 43% of men who are using Connecticut Paid Leave to bond with their baby. How important is that, as you know, you're talking about family and connection.

Senator Chris Murphy:

Oh, it's just absolutely critically important. There are so many men out there who badly want to have that early bonding time. And and now we have data to tell us right that that's just a critical moment for human development. And the closer that you feel to your parents, to your caregivers, during those early years, it just hardwires your brain in a way that allows you to have more resilience and grit later on in in your life. And so I think we're at a, you know, really interesting cultural moment where there's conversation about changing views of masculinity. That old model where the man was out earning a living, and the woman was home raising children, that is not the reality today, because in many households, maybe soon to be most households, women's earning the same or more than the man is and men, well sometimes begrudgingly, are coming to understand that masculinity has to be defined, not just by protection, but also by nurturing. And so more men are taking advantage of this resource in Connecticut because more men are realizing that a it's really important for their child to have that sense of bonding early on, but that it's it's really important to the men as well.

Nancy Barrow:

When you've done your walks across Connecticut, what are some of the concerns that you're hearing from people.

Senator Chris Murphy:

I always refer to it as grounding exercise, because there's a tendency in this business to think that the things that are on TV, cable news, scouring the Internet are what people care about, on the ground floor, and it just is not true. You know, yes, there's a subset of our country that is watching the Trump trial every night paying attention to you know, whether he paid stormy Daniels for this reason or that reason. But that is a very small slice of this country. Most people are getting up every day and caring about the same things that they cared about last year, five years ago, 10 years ago, those things tend to be how much am I making? Can I make ends meet for my family? How my kids doing? Are they safe in their neighborhood? Are they doing well in in school? Do I feel happy and fulfilled in my life? Do I have friendships and connections that matter to me? So those are the conversations that I have over and over and over again. And they remind me, you know, not to chase those headlines, if I'm working on, you know, public safety schools. connection, and the economy, I'm probably scratching people where they itch.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, I think people are really burned out by politics. I think there's a deeper burnout with that. I was talking to a friend on Saturday about that.

Senator Chris Murphy:

Well I think people people want politics to be connected to what matters to them. And that's why, you know, paid leave matters so much, because, you know, what's, what is more important than feeling supported by your community, at the most important moments in your life when you have a child or when you have a sick relative or when you are sick? Right? And that's, those are the moments that define your life. Yeah. And so when government's talking about hush money payments to porn stars, that has nothing to do with me, right? My government's talking about supporting me at a at a really important moment, when I need a little bit of a helping hands. Like when my child is born, or I get sick, man, nothing's more relevant than that.

Nancy Barrow:

Senator, when you look back at your career as a US senator since 2013, what has been your finest moment like your biggest achievement?

Senator Chris Murphy:

Obviously, my my political life, in many ways, my, my entire life was changed. During the Sandy Hook shooting. That happened in my district, time, I was just elected to the Senate. Those parents were all my age, my kids were the same age as the kids who die. So I spent 10 years after that, trying to pass legislation that would, you know, try to be more careful about who gets guns. Two years ago, summer 2022, we passed the first anti gun violence measure and 30 years I was the author of that bill, since that bill passed, crime in this country has plummeted, it's down 20% this year, it was down 12%, somewhere around there the year before, as probably the most impactful thing that I've been a part of, and I hope to do more, but I was really proud to have written and pass that legislation and have seen it played out in a way that is made our streets and our community safer.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah, I think it affected everybody. And as a father, I'm sure that affected you too. I mean, it was it was deeply affecting to everybody in Connecticut.

Senator Chris Murphy:

Yeah, you know, what matters most to us? You know, we talked about social connection. And that's true. But what matters, if you really dig down the thing that matters most is the physical safety of your loved ones, right? You would trade anything, anything to protect the physical safety of your loved ones. You'd give away your job, your house, you trade away your friends, if that was necessary to protect your son or daughter from physical harm. And so it just has been a real hard thing for the American public to grapple with. But this is what matters most. When my government doesn't seem to care about that much that finally started to change two years ago, and I'm glad for it.

Nancy Barrow:

Yeah and I think mental health was the issue then it's still an issue now. And I'm glad you're talking about it, and I think it's really important. And thank you for all you do in Washington. And who knows, maybe we'll see you walking across Connecticut this summer Senator.

Senator Chris Murphy:

I'll be out there. Thanks. Thanks for having me. Thanks for all the work that you do to tell people about how important paid leave this program is. You've mentioned it's helped so many people in Connecticut already. You know, grateful for the work that you do to make sure that as many people as possible can access this. This is often life changing benefit that Connecticut has has led on it's it's a really important conversation. Thanks for letting me be a part of it.

Nancy Barrow:

Chris Murphy, thank you so much for being on The Paid Leave Podcast. It was a pleasure talking with you.

Senator Chris Murphy:

Thanks.

Nancy Barrow:

For more information or to apply for benefits go to ctpaidleave.org. This has been another edition of The Paid Leave Podcast. Please like and subscribe so you'll be notified about new podcasts that become available. Connecticut Paid Leave is a public act with a personal purpose. I'm Nancy Barrow and thanks for listening.

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